Fairy Tales are NOT for Children

The Witch asked for the heart of Snow White—this was NOT figuratively speaking. She wanted it on a plate! I wonder how children picture this on their heads? I picture a pumping aorta swimming in burgundy red soup on a china bowl.

Jack is a lazy ass bum. He trades his cow for beans because he was too tired to barter for a better offer. He bitches out on his mother and throws the beans away. The beans magically grow into an enormous beanstalk. He climbs and finds out there are golden eggs in the sky owned by a giant. He steals the eggs and kills the poor giant. How I wish I could be lazy, steal from a bank and kill Shaquille O’ Neal and still be considered as hero!

Humpy Dumpty was pushed, murdered by the King’s men. I wonder how this story became so popular to children?

Jack and Jill was written by a feminist. She wanted to re-write history disguised as a children’s story. “Jack fell down and Jill came tumbling after?” I believe Eve ate the fruit first then Adam came tumbling after.